If not for you…Then for them

There’s going to be days when you feel like giving up on yourself and everything you once thought to be your drive in life…it is on such days that you need to remind yourself of the people around you who love you and constantly keep pushing you to do your best.

At times they will do it in the most annoying ways but their hearts are in a good place. So on such days, when you are debating on what to do, the days you feel you are not helping anyone at all …think about these people…

because sometimes if we cant be strong for ourselves we’ve got to try being strong for the people we love and continue pushing.

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I forgive you

Says me to me

09th July 2017

Dear diary

I’ve never really been on the other side of the line before..most times I find my way out…but this time it was different and I don’t know if am reacting appropriately to the situation at hand…I mean I know what I feel but somehow I am still calm…too calm it’s scary. I feel like a normal person would act out…it’s confusing really but also I am okay

…I think

You are wondering whose diary entry that is …and you are trying to figure out what they were talking about…well it’s mine…as of what I was writing about, it’s not important…I don’t even remember 😝. Anyways I chose the specific entry because I wanted to discuss this little something…

Sometimes things don’t work out for us.

Sometimes instead of getting the good news we get the bad news..

Instead of a Yes we get a No

Sometimes we get criticism when we expected a whole lot of praise…

and so we question ourselves, our capabilities and everything else that is us.

I mean it’s okay to react that way. It’s okay to blame yourself for a moment as you reflect on the decisions that led you to your current situation…you are only human.

But then again in those moments…those moments when you are harsh with yourself, remember to give yourself the same advice you would give your bestfriend.

There is nothing beautiful about the wreckage of a human being…But there is a lot of beauty in our courage when we pick through the wreckage of life trying to build something new.

So be gentle to yourself when things go south. Forgive yourself for the things you can’t change. Embrace the moment you are in and remind yourself that the life infront of you is far more important than your past life. Understand that you made the choices that you made with the feelings and the limited experience that you had at that time but you did your best with what you knew…

In conclusion:

Cut yourself some slack. You did and You are doing your best.

How do you do it?

So how do you do it? She asked. I am slowly giving up, she continued

every day.

How do you do it?

Walk around like you got your shit together and like you know exactly what the future holds for you?

How do you do it?

Smile all day when deep down you want to shout and scream your guts out…

How do you do it?

How do you keep it together when what you are really doing is trying to juggle between the highs and lows of life?

How do you do it?

Wave hello and High 5 the same people that keep trying to remind you of all your failures every day…

How do you do it?

Keep a positive attitude with your head held high when what you trully want is to break down and shed a few tears.

How do you do it ?

Internally question so much…while you keep being the very source of inspiration to the world outside?

How do you do it?

Wake up full of life, ready to face yet another day when what you trully want is to stay curled up in bed because the reality is the thought of having to go through another day scares the hell out of you…

How do you do it?

Portray a great part of you meanwhile you are at war trying to decide whether to release the ugly side or not…Not because no one will accept it…but because you are not sure what the ugly side suppressed for so long will look like…

How do you do it?

Keep a positive faith when all roads keep pointing towards the direction of disappointments…

How do you do it?

Are you really that unbreakable? Or just in denial…

In denial of the fact that even you have a breaking point

Denying that even you are allowed to not have all the answers

In denial of the fact that even you have flaws…The very thing that makes you human.

The Question remains…How do you do it?

“I don’t know if there’s a right answer for that” she responded with pitiful eyes as she watched her very person defeated by life itself…

Truth is I don’t know, she continued…, I don’t know how I keep it together… Most times I have no clue about anything but, I know this one thing…

You’ve got to just keep showing up…You have to push yourself to just show up and be there. Make yourself believe you actually want to be there…even when you have no clue on what you are supposed to do…You’ve got to just keep pushing and showing up…follow the faded voice whispering someday…

If you set a goal in the morning and it fails by midday, you’ve got to have the courage to set another one…

Breathe…little by little

“It’s just a bit much” she whispered to the mirror as she watched her 5 dollar mascara being washed away by her tears…

We tell ourselves we are good. We put on our big boy pants and prepare for yet another day. With a bright smile we walk as though we own the world but somehow, our minds are screaming help.

At times we really feel as though we are killing it at whatever we put our hearts into but somehow it doesn’t seem to pay off. We look back and somehow it seems as though we are still in square one…So we stop. We drop everything and we just stop trying. We start pretending as though we are not bothered but deep down we are playing a blame show on repeat. We start questioning whether the decisions we made were the right ones. We start questioning our strengths and believing our very weaknesses…the little voice in our heads telling us we have no choice but to give up.

And slowly we start hating the very existence of life.

I wouldn’t blame you. I mean it’s exhausting isn’t it? You think you are doing your best but somehow nothing changes…how in the world is one supposed to live like that? As humans we are motivated to keep going if we see some positive change towards whatever we are trying to achieve… an everyday feeling of defeat is not it.

There is always going to be point where it all becomes too much. A point when we get too tired to fight and so we are going to want to give up…some of us are going to give up. But we have to remember that the time that we feel like giving up is the time when the real work begins…to find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all.

Don’t over think the bad… it’s not like you have to answer to every feeling or situation. That’s not how life works. We figure it all out by just living, by fucking up, by missing an opportunity, by seeking advice and not taking it.

We learn what’s good and what isn’t. Most times we have no idea what we are doing and it gets scary but we keep going…we keep pushing and we keep striving to achieve the one thing that our hearts are longing for.

So Learn to ask the questions that will help you keep focused:

  • What if all this time, this entire struggle has been leading me to a beautiful chapter in my life?
  • What if everything does work out after all, even if it doesn’t seem that way right now?
  • What if who I became is who I needed to be all along?
  • What if all this hard work leads to amazing things?

You see my point…What if we put aside the fear of what is to become of us as we drown in overwhelming emotions and replaced the negativity with optimism?

You got this…You just need to believe it.

The epitome of “Fake it till you make it”

It’s not that they have every little part of their lives figured out…That’s impossible.

We are all fighting battles somewhere…Be it with the world or with ourselves

The difference between you and them is that you chose to dwell on with the negativity…and they chose to take life as it is…flaws and all,the good and the bad. You’ve got to teach yourself to see beauty in every situation…if it ain’t there, create it.

P.S…You dont have to have it all figured out…that’s just boring